The Last Pale Light in the West.

it’s a few hours later and I feel a little better about my disassociative feelings. They’re no less present or correct but I feel at peace with them.  I think in the next couple weeks I’m going to have to head out of town for a night or two. I dont know if I’ll head south or north but I’ve gotto go one way or another. leave with a change of clothes, my guitar and my bike. Maybe KC? Maybe Fayetteville? Maybe Tulsa? I dont know anymore. I need a road and some time to think. I’m so disoriented.

Disassociate/re associate

Disassociation:

I had a conversation with a friend last night that I wish could have lasted longer. It seems we become the identity that resides in what we do. It always happens that wasy and it’s never any less frustrating… for me anyway. I know a man that has embraced his association with what he does and he seems to love it. I however, want a break. I think my association to music has made me disike it. I’ve made the joke several times over that I dont like music anymore I just play it. It seems like its a joke that becomes more real every few weeks. I havent heard or written anything that hurts my guts recently and I fear I may never again. I have a lot to write about but sadly, there is no emotion to it.  I think with the birth of a new year I will be stepping into the shadows more frequently. I’ll be taking a page from the unauthorized and reluctant  biography of Nathan Couch.

re association:

It’s a different feeling this time. I say that every time though…

I’m realizing

I’m realizing that I’m becoming the older guy who everyone says hi to out of pity in the halls at school. you know the one.

rolling bag and a good attitude. a little sarcastic and maybe a little cynical.

all the young people like to say silly little things to include your age group into things and likewise for me.

I try and throw in my two cents about my friends who are freshman.sophomore aged as well…

Its a brutal cycle.

p.s. I dont have a rolling bag. I have an ogio metro

things I am very and not so excited about…

very-

camera. bike. whiskeytown. www.meredith-photo.com. geting rid of my freecoaster. girls who drink guinness. sandwiches. driving aimlessly. being around a skatepark regardless of my approval of the venue.

not so-

Freecoaster. radiator leak. feeling like a jackass regardless of its justification.

so

I havnt updated in a piece but I’ve been massively busy.

I got my Nikon D200 and love the shit out of it. got my bmx bike going again too. I have yet to really ride it because it scares the shit out of me. Freecoasters are for flatlanders… end of story. anyway I’ll share some photos now that were taken with the new joint. I also had an awesome photo of a sandwich I ate yesterday… now its gone. so pissed.

ronery

******preface: I wanna preface this with a disclaimer. I really wanted to keep this blogging experience out of my personal life to a certain extent. I’ve done a pretty ok job of it so far, and I think I’ll just keep up that trend. I vow to mention no names or direct grievances, I will only allude to common unhappiness. oh, and I’ll try really hard not to be a pussy.******

you know. I’ve been thinking about it for the last couple of days and I’m lonely. I’m not so much I need some friends to hang out with lonely or I wanna have sex lonely. I’m “I wanna meet some new people or a person possibly of the female type who is aroundabout my age(ish) or older and doesn’t have a conflicting personality” lonely. I’m not necessarily saying I want another girlfriend either. I just got out of damn near two years of solid(ish) relationship time and thats not really what I need right now. I’m not looking for a bride I just want someone to hang out with. have a beer or whatever and discuss good music, books, the bar scene, how lame people are and how cool we percieve ourselves to be and stuff like that. I dont wanna get knocked for wearing cowboy boots sometimes or being inconsistent with my ability to decide where we go eat.

I’m just kind of bummed on today period I think.

but this weekend sure was fun!

-K

In the spirit of an 80$ bucket of chicken and dunking on a 9 year old on a short goal…

This weekend was impressive.

I think we were all in rare form in some fashion or another. Anyhow, I’m gonna hit some highlights of the weekend and link you to some photographical evidence of the mayhem.

• C.B. is such a hardass that he napped in his van before playing last night.
• Before 7pm Lanna decided to test out some sort of banana shot (read:concoction) with way too much rum in it.
• I forgot the very last verso to a song… I forgot which song now.
• Cory sang some backup vocals with me on American Girl.
• ManPistol, Kansas, Mr. Bighead and The Manchild were all in full force.
• We didn’t suck.
• Cory played just about every song I wanted to hear.
• BHOC was worked into the words of White T Girl.
• I puked and rallied.
• a new band was formed “By Hook or Cory” was born.
• we all had a fabulous time. If you werent there you missed straight the fuck out.

abre su ojos

almost two hours ago I made my 25th trip around the sun…

or I’ve been alive for 300 months
or  1,304 weeks
or  9,132 days
or  219,169 hours
or  13,150,191 minutes
or  789,011,516 seconds
From what I hear its all downhill now. This is the point where I start to get old. a few of my best friends, however, are creeping up on, are, or are over 30 so I’m in good company.

I share a birthday with rose mcgowan(hot), dweezil zappa, freddie fucking(dudes) mercury, bob newhart, and my cousin tony.

my cousin tony after owning a guy. in austin

I’ve been sick today. not fun. at all.

anyhow. its 2 a.m.

I’m going to bed

-keatsy