I will cry on the day Bill Murray dies. He was my hero as a child and still is as a grown ass man.

http://www.nypost.com/pagesixmag/issues/20081207/Bill+Murray+NYCs+New+Party+Boy?page=1

Oh, God. Where am I and why does it smell like coffee?

It’s just before 4 am. I’m tired enough to have to retype every other word but awake enough to want to write. I’ve been noticing a change in myself. Not for better or worse, just a change, an evolution of sorts. I’m trying to make myself care about people more and trying to give niceness a chance. I’ve become interested (read: roped in) to a good friend’s thousand and one causes that she supports (falling whistles, tom’s, invisible children, NWA… ok she doesn’t support Niggas with Attitude, but maybe she should? Maybe I should for that matter.) I dont know if it’s because of all her stories about kids dying and people going hungry or what but I’m becoming less hard boiled. I feel like some defenses are crumbling incertain company and I’m not sure if I’m into it or not. I just spout worthless views on marriage and love and my feelings about the correlation of the two and then I realize what I’ve just said and wonder why I’m talking about it at all. Word vomit. Binge listen and Purge ideas. Too much estrigen lately perhaps? I dunno.

I’ve been drinking a lot lately, that last fragmented thought coming out of my mouth as a part of a sentence is like a monk saying he’s been praying a lot. I’ve curbed my drinking considerably in the last year or so. for the last few months more than any other time. Until the holidays I was drinking to get drunk once a month, all other drinking was social and relatively harmless or just nonexistant. When I drink like this I get lonely, and if steve’s around it gets worse cause it’s easy to be egged on by stephen. At which point I decide it’s a good idea to randomly text all but about three females in my phone book… it gets hilarious at times, other times it’s mostly disappointing, but it’s always something.

Overall, it’s been a good holiday season. Got to see some old friends, drank heavily and didnt get any presents that were too incredibly worthless. I’m compiling a list of best and worst of 2008 for the bliggity blog and will post in in the next few days.

Listening to: Mogwai (discography), This Will Destroy You (S/T), Pinback (Blue Screen Life), Ryan Adams (Heartbreaker), Neutral Milk Hotel (Beauty)

Watching: Seven Pounds****, Gran Torino***, Gilmore Girls (Damn you MK!), Choke***, Yes Man* (total crap, get’s one star because Zooey Deschanel is the third most attractive girl on earth)

Random Steve Wasson Fact # 4,326 – It only takes Steve Wasson three beers to be trashed, but in dog beers, he’s a fucking champ.

just a couple things to remember ladies…

If you decide one day you don’t like a guy, 1. do not just bail and stop talking to him out of the blue, give him a legit dumping. and my favorite part by far, if you’re going to bail without notice please do not in the future come up and have the most awkward talk ever about how you’re bad at those types of things… It’ll just make dude mad. Made me mad anyway?
the fact of the matter is that I am terrible with all relationships.
friendships.
pets.
girlfriends.
etc etc.

I’m bad. I’m awkward and rude and I don’t know when to stop sometimes. Chances are though, if I like you in any way I try to speckle my insults with niceties that show I’m trying.

long story short, if you’re a girl-dont be stupid.
if you’re my friend-i love you.

Random Steve Wasson fact #665 if you pick up anything steve wasson owns, wash your hands immediately afterwards… because you probably have semen on your hand.

Pull out the Lawn chairs and watch the angels rip out their wings.

It’s a fucking frozen tundra outside so my dog’s been sleeping with me for the last night or so. He’s been very good too.

ART VANDALAY

Not only the name of a delicious vegetarian burrito, also what I’m postins sans Vandalay. I don’t actively post my work online but I’m particularly pumped on this series and wanted to throw it up here for the 7 people who look at this to see.

A tongue in cheek image of a Panhandler working from home. More commentary on the interaction with technology we all face. It's been integrated into our daily lives whether we like it or not.

The cell phone. I used an old model to show the supposed harmlessness inherent in new consumer electronics.

Another kind of tongue in cheek image. basically just a dude with a big ass plopped in front of the computer, communicating via a social networking website rather than through human interaction. Also the Electrical outlet is shorting... they're revolting against us.

a faceless nameless human in alone on a cell phone in a city of millions. it's a fact from every day life.

A post Apocalyptic world symbolizing th destuctin of basic interaction in a city context. The idea of city life is populated with a lot of human contact.... No, I'm not "way into the terminator."

I’m not very ambitious.

I’m really not.
I think that’s ok but who sits around contemplating their faults and how to fix them? fags.

Random Steve Wasson Fact # 234: Steve Wasson wrestled Stone Cold Steve Austin for the nickname “Stone Cold” and killed him with a move known only as el diablo. Everyone knows it’s Stone Cold Steve Wasson now.

the three classifications.

preface: I’ve been thinking about this today and there’s rhyme and reason to why we do what we do as males. In my circle of friends there is a definite pattern in the way we see females and what we like about them and what we don’t. I’m going to make a little rundown of my feelings about classification and this should outline my feelings toward relationships etc.

There are three general classifications of female for me that really stand out:

Datable Girls

Un-Datable Girls

Minute Girls

Minute Girls: are the girls you meet in other cities or are from other cities that you are very unlikely to hang out with for more than a night. Little to no physical interaction, maybe a group from out of town visiting a friend etc etc. Nothing real exciting here, only gonna be around a minute.

Un-Datable Girls: These ladies are awesome. Too awesome. This encompasses the field of female that is out of your league in one way or another. This is the caliber of female that is either unreachable by you or is reachable but not socially acceptable. For example: some of us have a penchant for older ladies (which are awesome), but could never make that a legit deal. Young girls(within reason), booty calls and barfly’s are all lumped into this category as well. That girl you used to bang that brought you Taco Bell and Bud Light all the time is in this category. The chick who loved being choked and was drunk all the time is also in this one. These girls are good for a good time, not for a long time.

Datable Girls: These are the cream of the crop. The absolute best girls are reserved for relationships and That’s a good thing. These are the girls you can have a conversation with, love the same music as you and have sex that’s just dirty enough to be awesome but not too dirty like the choking girl from the last category. This girl is the girl you can have a relationship with, have a beer with, and still respect her in the morning when she cleans her vomit off your toilet. She doesn’t drink to excess anymore, she has a good overall attitude and is going to school or has a job. This girl is an all around good time and can be for a long time.

I believe you can transcend these categories pretty easily. It’s just a matter of curbing your drinking habits, turning 21, or just plain not being a whore. Buck up ladies, if you’re in a category you don’t like just clean up your act and you could be the first Mrs. Scott Walters.

Random Steve Wasson Fact # 126: Steve Wasson has dated every girl you’ve ever met and by date, I mean he’s had sex with them… with his eyes… and they all liked it.

These are a few of my favorite thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings….

When you see an ex, or a girl you used to bang or whatever and notice she is looking particularly haggard. A special angel inside me gets his wings when that happens.

The first sip of a Bourbon rocks… it hurts soooooooo good.

The first in tune chord after re-stringing your guitar and letting the strings stretch.

Learning and landing a trick on my bicycle.

That split second when your shutter fires and you’re pretty positive you got the exact shot you wanted or at least something very close.

Cheesecake.

Girls.

Road tripping to nowhere in particular.

Random Steve Wasson Fact # 9: The patch of hair on the bottom of Steve Wasson’s chin is one white hair for every man he’s killed… with mind bullets.

I have been writing today

it’s been fun writing for the first time in months. chords and all. weird… more later.

Random Steve Wasson Fact #1,236: Steve Wasson wears glasses to protect you from the lasers that shoot out his eyes. when he was 7 he killed 10 grown men with only a look.

Reasons I hate the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall and the beauty of some of the lessons in the movie.

For one, the movie is terrible.

The saving graces of the movie are the funny parts, especially any time the main character Peter is playing piano, in fact those are the absolute best parts of the movie. But I do think the love story is pretty solid. Awkward and contrived at times but generally pretty heartfelt coming from a character I kind of understand.

There was one real truth to the movie that I loved: Some men are fuckups and no matter what you do to try and accommodate us, you’ll never get it quite right.

The scene where the main character and Sarah Marshall are talking about why she cheated on him and she explains that she went to seminars and really tried to change things about herself to understand him is very telling. It makes sense to me on a lot of levels.

I’m an underachiever. What that means is that I try and do the least possible to get through life with the most possible return for that minimal work. all my friends are this way to a certain extent. I think I just take it too far. As I get older I think things like “I should have gone to college right outta high school.” “Maybe I should have tried harder in high school,” etc.

But the fact is I would have missed out on a lot of amazing things had I gone to college straight away. I never would have been in a band and met all the great people I’ve met in the last two years. There were life experiences in the last few years I wouldn’t trade for anything, even a good job and a weeks paid vacation every year.

Back to the movie. The fact of the matter is that I’ll never be able to fulfill every need a female has, nor will she be able to fulfill all mine. The secret (which I learned not from a movie but from a friend) is to find a person you could not see being without for the rest of your life and make needed adjustments to fulfill that felt want for there presence as much as you can. If you can’t make it work, no way no how, it wasn’t meant to be.

I’m just thinking in type.

KT

Random Steve Wasson Fact #22: If Steve Wasson had a wassongasm on your chest… you wouldnt have a chest anymore… he’s part alien and yes… his spit is acid too.