I was sitting at a stoplight about 5 minutes ago and I was thinking to myself… man my head hurts. I just got done with lunch and the smell of cooking makes me sick sometimes. Just then a woman stepped off the curb and into the intersection. She stepped off the curb in slow motion and into my head. Covered in red and white polka dots, her blouse inflicted even more pain on my aching head. She looked supremely pissed, as a lot of women in their 50’s do. 
All I could thing as she walked was “Man she looks pissed… I bet she’s a mean mean bitch.” Then I had convinced myself that she was in fact a horrid-evil-bitch. Almost instantly upon making my decision I got the bubble guts… Bad. So I flatulated and upon doing so I wished the horrid-bitch lady had super hearing so she could have heard my flatulence and been completely offended by it. A replay rolled in my head where when in front of my car she stopped and turned to me as if to say “You sir, are disgusting and I am highly offended!” At which point I would hacve given her the finger and screamed (almost falsetto) something to the tune of “Serves you right you horrid-evil-bitch-lady!!” Then the light was green. I let out a little chuckle anddrove home eager to tell the world about my flatulence.
Archive for June, 2009
San Francisco – Food
Hank the Dungeness Crab
I’ll have further talks on Modern art and my experiences at the SFMoMA soon. for now I want to talk a little bit about a new friend I made. This new friend is a Dungeness Crab. This little fellow marks my first forree’ into the consumption of “Prime Rib.” There is a restaurant in the Bay Area called The Dead Fish that my family decided to venture out to for dinner. I must say hat this dinner was by far one of my favorites on the trip. Although this one was one of my favorites the absolute best thing about this trip time after time has been Bay Area cuisine of all types.
Another one of the places we dined while in California was a very small asian restaurant strangely named Cordon Bleu. This place had by far the best Thai food I have ever consumed and could seat no more than 10 people. Tops. The cooking surface is close enought that the temperature would surely become uncomfortable were this place not nestled in the most odd climate I’ve had the pleasure/pain of residing in for any amount of time. As far as Asian food goes the amount of fresh fish and sushi available in the bay area is staggering. We dined at a place called Kyoto with a sizeable saki collection and a considerably more complex and consequently satisfying menu than what any midwesterner is accustomed to when chooseing sushi rolls.
A lot of talk has been seafood and/or Asian centric so far but there was absolutely no scarcity of american, latin and italian foods in the area. We were positioned n a district strangely named “The Tenderloin” which is
Cordon Bleu
apparently pretty bad and because of its ghetto appearance and living situations has quickly become a hotspot for young hipsters needing cheap places to live. The Hipster culture has a past of taking working class symbols and trends and turning them into kitschy trends, apparently not even the Tenderloin is immune to the onslaught of hipster culture being brought to the masses. One of the eateries in out neighborhood that I wish we had found sooner was Tommy’s Joynt, a bar and eatery serving up a vast menu of drunk food, ethnic fare and delicious faux southern dishes. The beer selection at Tommy’s is second to none and the staff is friendly, helpful and willing to chit chat about how the Lakers are c-cksuckers well into the witching hour. We had a couple of great sandwiches using meats smoket at Tommy’s. I passed on the sweet and sour ribs and corned beef and cabbage that was offered among other dishes but they both looked fantastic.
The bay area offers up a lot of locally owned restaurants with a greasy spoon hole in the wall feel (because they are in fact hole in the wall joints) with food that is without a doubt some of the best we’d had in any city. The amount of things to do in the city is endless. The bar selection in our area alone was impressive to say the least with more dives in a square block than joplin houses in an entire city. The main difference between the dives in SF and the ones at home is that the young hip rocker crowd has taken over all but ones dotting the deep reaches of the Tenderloin (where people will offer you “some rock” without flinching.).Despite the area we stayed in, Frisco is a beautiful city with genuinely nice people and I can honestly say I will be back without a doubt.
SF MoMA – Main Collection
The Sf MoMA is pretty fantastic. The architecture is great and the S0MA area in SF is pretty awesome in general. Upon entering the lobby you’re directed up stairs to the second floor where the permanent collection resides (some of it anyhow). The collection includes pieces by Matisse, Rauschenberg and even a very early Pollack piece (Guardians of the Secret, 1943). The MoMa had several small emphasis’ going on at once, one area was a showing of Matisse and the other few fauvists of the time. Another small room housed an exhibition called “Paul Klee: Social Creatures” that featured Klee’s humor in early cartoonish figures with the same bold lines seen in his other work. It was truly an experience seeing so many great works of art, some I had never seen nor heard of, but for me the crown jewel of the SF MoMa was a urinal. Marcel Duchamp’s “Fountain” (1917/1964)! This piece has sparked many a debate of the foundations of art and what is and is not art in my circle of friends alone. By circle of friends I mean Steve Wasson, I don’t really discuss art with anyone else. Seeing this piece up close and personal was a real treat and I can’t explain with words my excitement. The excitement soon faded when thoughts of Wasson’s departure flooded my head and I felt obligated to walk away. Not before I snapped a camera photo and sent it to a few friends though. One floor down – 3 more to go.
