I was sitting at a stoplight about 5 minutes ago and I was thinking to myself… man my head hurts. I just got done with lunch and the smell of cooking makes me sick sometimes. Just then a woman stepped off the curb and into the intersection.  She stepped off the curb in slow motion and into my head. Covered in red and white polka dots, her blouse inflicted even more pain on my aching head. She looked supremely pissed, as a lot of women in their 50’s do. All I could thing as she walked was “Man she looks pissed… I bet she’s a mean mean bitch.” Then I had convinced myself that she was in fact a horrid-evil-bitch. Almost instantly upon making my decision I got the bubble guts… Bad. So I flatulated and upon doing so I wished the horrid-bitch lady had super hearing so she could have heard my flatulence and been completely offended by it. A replay rolled in my head where when in front of my car she stopped and turned to me as if to say “You sir, are disgusting and I am highly offended!” At which point I would hacve given her the finger and screamed (almost falsetto) something to the tune of “Serves you right you horrid-evil-bitch-lady!!” Then the light was green. I let out a little chuckle anddrove home eager to tell the world about my flatulence.